


When everything is just right

by glimmerren



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:29:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23412388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glimmerren/pseuds/glimmerren
Summary: What was supposed to be a perfect day for daydreaming was ruined by a boy with a perfect smile
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	When everything is just right

**Author's Note:**

> in the perspective of Huang Renjun

A cool wind blows in my direction. The sun is shining brightly. The leaves are rustling, dancing gracefully along. I love days like these. We don’t get them often and so; I try to bask in it as best as I can. Days like these give me a certain kind of feeling that I remember so vividly still, the kind of feeling I had when I was a child when I woke up and it was storming, classes were cancelled, my mom cooking up champorado for me and I had the whole day to spend daydreaming. It made me feel warm and cozy. It made me feel happy.

Now I spend days like these under a big tree, lying awake but not here at all. I tune out the noise caused by others and began humming whatever melody comes to me. I drown in it all, the cool breeze enveloping my body, carrying me atop of a cloud, heart pumping blood warming me, and a feeling of lightness overpowering my senses. My mind travels to faraway places and keeps my heart full and contented. 

A sensation so simple it might be to others; it might not be a sensation at all if I think about it. Most take this feeling for granted, getting caught up in the buzzing urban streets of this fast-paced world. I pity them sometimes, how they’d go on about their lives not taking a pause, nor a breath… not really feeling… hearts beating but not really living. 

I take flight, soaring through blue skies, the wind racing me. I nestle under the branches of a mighty oak tree. I breathe in the smell the horizon presents me with. Though I may not have travelled far from where I was, I have reached places I could never have. Rooted in the ground from where I am lying, I’m no longer there nor am I here for I take flight again. 

My peace was short-lived however, for my senses tingled, taking me back to my mortal body. And when I opened my eyes, sunlight didn’t blind me. No, not at all. Sunlight didn’t peek through the leaves still dancing to the breeze. Sunlight didn’t have brown eyes and a perfect smile that turned into a grin the moment I looked. When I opened my eyes, there was you. And boy, was I fuming. 

“I’m Donghyuck. You are?” You said, grinning. I felt my face heating up. I just stared at you. You stared back, smile growing bigger.

My oh so perfect day was now ruined. You see, I need time by myself to be myself. I need to bask in all the goodness to not get carried away with the current of everyday life and its pressures. But you just had to ruin it with your perfect smile and your perfect face and your perfect hair. God, I hated you. Why would someone stop dead in their tracks and feed their curiosity by literally standing beside me and gaze in wonder upon what I am doing when I am clearly at peace?

I hated nosy people, god. On a normal day, I would have cursed you out. But something told me not to. If I did, maybe you wouldn’t have polluted every nook and cranny of my mind with bits and pieces of you and my life would have been my own still.

From that perfect day, I found a perfect partner. A little naïve and a little dumb, but your intentions were pure, your heart was in the right place. You joined me in my adventures, lied with me on soft grass and experienced everything I did and more. Never did you question why I do what I do but instead, supported me. And so, we took off to many places, soared far and wide. To the highest peaks and the lowest crevices, you were there with me. Then suddenly, the weather was perfect… then suddenly, the storms and bright sunlight was perfect cause I got to share them with you.

“Why’d you like the earth so much, we can go explore space if you want to?” you asked one day when we weren’t on our weekly conquests. I just shrugged and said, “I never really thought about space.” Appalled, you look at me, disappointment registered on your face. How absolutely shocking is it to be able to imagine myself marveling at the amazing view of the aurora borealis or swimming along the biggest of whales but not free-falling in space? Space means the unknown. I never really liked things I don’t know. 

I then found myself one fine evening when the rest of the world was asleep lying under the familiar grass but this time with blankets and the night sky keeping us safe. You talked to me about the stars and constellations and I found myself drowning once again, but not in my adventures. I found myself drowning in all of you. I found myself tangled in everything that is you and though I am caught, I neither struggled to break loose nor even dared try.

We lie, floating with the feeling of fullness and comfort. I have found someone who I don’t hate spending every moment of the day with. This could be my haven, nowhere yet everywhere… anywhere with you. How funny did our story began. Every second since you came, life changed.

If a color would be ascribed to it, the color would be yellow. You shone light to every part of me, the worst and the good. You dripped golden sunlight, your warmth extends, takes me in an embrace full of love and freedom.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to outlive every fear, every problem we’ve ever had or would have?” You say. Out of the blue, however, often you’d say things like these. Random yet well thought out. You hum, waiting for a response. When I didn’t give one, you look up from your laptop, pausing whatever paper you were working on only to stare at me. As deep brown eyes bore into mine, I realized how much different life was, how mundane it was before you and how much I didn’t want that back.

“Yes. But that’s what makes life worth living, isn’t it? Overcoming fears and then having new ones, then overcoming them again.” “But wouldn’t it be nicer to have none? Just imagine how invincible we would be if we have nothing to fear, nothing to lose?” 

Little did I know, time was fleeting. As if the universe and everything in it banded against happiness, as if the stars have died, you were also fading. But you didn’t tell me. We kept on going on adventures, just you and me in our own bubble full of joy and promises of a tomorrow that will be spent together. Hearts and hands one, we traverse wide oceans, blue skies, mountain high enough that we can’t see the bottom clearly. 

Love’s roots grew deeper by the second and as it did, you grew fragile. You tire much easily now. Your breaths would quicken even when were just walking. Your knees would give up and I’m just glad I’m there to catch you. As love grew fonder, your heart beat weaker, but you pretended in front of me. 

“I’m fine” you’d say when I can clearly see you’re not. Though I have noticed the changes, because honestly, I notice every little thing about you as you do with me, you keep denying. The first and last I have ever witnessed anger registered on your face, you said to me you hated white walls and depressing atmospheres. You said you hated the sounds and looks of sadness. The coldness of metal and the plainness of white made up beds was not something you look forward to. We avoided hospitals, said it wasn’t good for you, said you just needed some rest. 

With a heavy heart, I oblige to every wish you say. I love you too damn much. You grow weaker and there is nothing I can do but be there. I prayed and prayed that one day you’ll be okay… that one day I’d wake up to find you smiling once again but this time, with no pretenses. I prayed for more time. If forever could be bought for a price, I would have given up everything so I could afford more time with you.

But time gave us just enough for one more grand adventure and so, I took you to the park, the one where you nosily look in innocent curiosity at me, unconsciously stumbling into my life. We talked about orange skies, the sound of waves, the sweet serenity in darkness under fort blankets… we talked about the blue bird situated on top of the glorious pine tree in the mountain we once wandered. The wind blew right at us, brought me back to reality. It’s cold breeze no longer friendly. 

I took one look at you and sensed that you were gone. I took one look at you and you took me away too. How unfair. How fucking unfair. How unfair is it that you helped me pick up my broken pieces, but you’d leave me crumbling, again? “Fate would lead us back to each other in every lifetime we’d get to live,” you said one night to me in almost a whisper. Dear, fate is cruel. Why would you ever teach me to believe in it again?

Lilac skies, gentle waves come crashing the beaches, laughter of children… you would have loved this day. I know you won’t hear me anymore. I’d only meet you in dreams, not grand adventures because in my memories you’d only linger. We won’t be able to do the things we did anymore… Each day I grow content though the pain never goes away. You made me believe and so I did. 

We’ll meet again when the wind is cold enough to run shivers through my spine and the sun is shining brightly, warming me in the right kind of way. We’ll meet again under rustling leaves, dancing gracefully to the direction the wind blows. We’ll meet again in another life, hopefully go on new adventures wherever our minds will take us. We’ll meet again when everything’s just right.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Though this was a quick write-up, I hope you liked it. <3 Please let me know what you think!


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